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Hmm… am at home propped up in ma couch, taking in some brain mushing tv. Should be studying but yet here I am. My knack for pulling off the magnificent at the last minute seems to be coming in handy these days. Last minute cramming for tests and last minute compilations of projects seems to now be my forte.

Got a promotion recently. Loving it. I will be making the same amount of money in half the time. More time for school work so hopefully by summer when the half time working hours kick in I’ll have much more time for school and extra curricular activities :).

My writing has ofcourse taken a backseat but hey am not slacking off for a whole year again. So am here yet again with my signature rambling.

Am about one year deep in my relationship. I love him. Not sure what that means, but I know how I feel. I love him.

 Its true though that relationships, good relationships, take time and alot of work. Nothing is perfect and although we have some truly awesome times between us… hmm.. really good times :), there are times when he just gets on my nerves. Self involved, bitchy and a narcissistic ego that never quits. Sure, I signed up for it all. He’s hot, a model. I expected it. So that at times has me thinking extreme thoughts: Kick this bitch to the curb, you can do better.

But… he makes up in so many other ways. For the rare times the bitch in me actually came out I see it in his eyes. His love is real. Scary real. It makes anything else that may take away from what makes us good for each other, pale in comparison.

Is it wrong to want to see that look so much that nothing else matters?

The chemistry we seem to have is so strong that even in a culture like this, where our love is taboo,  I can see when he for a moment forgets where we are. We’re walking in a public place and he unconciously gets too close to me. Face just a lil too close to mine. Body brushing just a little too close than normal. Ofcourse it happens to me as well. In a culture such as this it is certainly taboo for a guy to be feeding another guy soda through a straw at Burger King. I did it anyway because I love him. I did it because I crave that look, that touch.

I am trying my best to be careful though. I’m not stupid. But I’ll be damned if this country takes away my chance at happiness. The chance of holding the one I love till he falls asleep, as he recovers from our extra currcular activities 🙂

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Yoga OMG! I just realised I have 8 days left!

This last week has been good. Although the carnal desires and pleasure are still at the forefront of my mind, they no longer dominate me. I find I can now channel this energy I feel in my svadhistara chakra (basically my C**K) into my yoga.

I love yoga, but when this is over I am definitely not going celibate for the sake of my practice. I believe I will be able to balance it because sex and the relief it gives me is a must if I am to express myself with the one I love or more importantly, love myself.

I LOVE my body! No other way to describe it, and I feel thats one of the main reason it is now treating me so good. But after these 8 days are up… I am gonna LOVE it some more!

Anyway… again talking about it is stroking my very vivid imagination, so ’till next time…

Namaste
W, X, Why? ZEDD

                         2 second rule

Trying to resistEverything going good so far. Caught myself going for the crotch a few times, but everything is cool. The cute hot guys seem to catch my eye too much now it seems, but with years of practice and the 2 second rule (never stare for more than 2 seconds) its all good.

Don’t know if there is any increase in energy or any change cause I have gone a whole week before strangling the chicken. Hopefully I won’t be having any public erections… who am I kidding I probably will, cause on a normal basis the bus vibrates vibrates me a little too well and I get an erection. Yeah, yeah I know, I’m turned on too easily. Things like that make me wonder if I couldn’t pull off the physical part of a heterosexual relationship… after all people already think I’m in one.

(***By the way if you like the pics, visit: http://www.beautifulmag.eu/beautiful/ for more beautiful creatures***)

Oh well, apart from the whole abstinence thing my health and fitness seems to be in Offergood shape these days. Don’t know if I wrote it here but I had lost about 50 lbs after being on meds for a while (see first few posts for clarification). Finally getting back to the body I had before and noticably turning a few heads on the street, especially since I started working and working out again since people have been saying that I’m killing the whole shirt and tie look. Anyway enough vanity.

Ha! Looks like I’ve replace stroking my magic wand with stroking my ego.

Anyway, life seems good if I just focus on the positive… even in this country. The last Harry Potter book comes out on Saturday, 21st July 2007! Seems a long way off but its something to look forward to…

Later

W, X, why? Z3DD

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Books I’m currently reading:

"The Richest Man in Babylon"
by George S. Clason (recently finished)

"Eragon"
by Christopher Paolini

"The Historian"
by Elizabeth Kostova